FOURTEEN

I want to be a Normal. The normal people knew what they were all about, or did they. I don't know. To me, it was like they had their lives figured out. I wish, I can know what my path in life is, but I'm already damned.

Since I am damned, I do I care what God thinks. He already gave me an F and I live in hell. So, why do I care about a man who I can't see or hear. But, I do. Maybe because of how I was raised. You know, to look for guidance and direction from a spirit who is most powerful than ourselves. I don't know what to think anymore. I don't know how to live.

I can't get sick, in fact, I was never sick, not even a cold. My life is one big mystery and I need to find the answers. Need to know who to live with my curse.

I can feel the worry and unemotional creeping into my soul, like a dark shadow crawling into my body without warning. I didn't put up a resistance. From that point, I knew what my destiny is, to be like my mother. A woman made of cold stone, like the Stone Hedge.Cold as ice, but have a story to tell.

Eric looks at me and I look back. He knows what is about to happen. There is a reason that we are twins. The Gemini of the family. We will give the family balance and leadership. I can feel it. Balance, but why. What is happening to my mother? She's the leader of these damned creatures of the night, why can't she continue? I don't want to drink from her cup. I don't want to be like her. If I can, I will leave so I can never be like her. A cold stone bitch who can't feel anything but her own skin. She's like a creepy sad statue collecting dust. I wish, I never had a mother. I probably will be more happy without one.

Galvin talk and talk in his singing voice. He is so graceful and God like, you know he is an angel from heaven. I didn't listen to what he had to say. I am busy thinking about my life, my future and why my best friend will be my enemy for life.

Fire is my best friend and we shared everything with each other, now I look at her with darting eyes and without trust. Why?

I feel so sick.

As we were in the study listening to Galvin speak, I wonder what is happen to my family. I hope, they did kill each other in rage.  But, then again, you don't know what monsters can do without any sense of control.  Like Spirit.